Ahh, time

Well it has been awhile since I have done anything on here so I thought I might as well post something. Life is going great, London is growing SO fast and he is beginning to be so interactive with us. He has begun to smile when we talk to him and he tries very hard to coo. I just can't wait for his giggles! Bryan is in search of a new job because his job is proving to be extremely stressful, he has filled out an application at my dad's office and my dad is going to talk to the hiring manager, so that is should be good. I got a job watching a little baby boy who is about 8 or 9 months old, I start on Thursday and I can't wait. Anyway, we took our Christmas pictures and will be sending those out shortly they are really cute and I wish that I could post them on here but I don't want to ruin the surprise. Oh and we got a new kitten named Mocha, she is INSANE!!
But here are some other pictures:

Perfect Family

Here we are, happy and in love...

BABY!!!!

OK everyone I am just posting to announce the birth of my son, Jake London Epley, 8 lbs, 19 and 1/2 in, born on November 2, 2007. He is gorgeous and everything is going beautifully! I will post more later! Oh we are calling him London not Jake!

married!

Well I married the love of my life this past friday! It was beautiful, my midwife married us in my parents backyard and then we ate Carrabbas food. We had a lovely chocolate cheesecake with rasberry gonash, it was just beautiful! We are all settled into our apartment and things are going great! I am just getting fatter, and getting more and more heartburn, the due date is almost here though (not like that means anything though!)! Well I better run, sorry this is so short, I am using the libraries' internet and my session is soon to be over!

home sweet home

I found a beautiful place to live! It is a two bedroom two bathroom, 1100 sq ft. apartment. It has all hardwood floors and a huge kitchen!! I am so excited to move, it relieves alot of stress I was having!

PEOPLE!!!!

OMG so I am getting so tired of people misinterpreting things that have been typed. You cannot tell emotion or jokes in type form and that is why when you read blogs you just have to take everything with a grain of salt. I am getting tired of being judged by people who I thought were my friends before I was friends with other people. I am getting tired of parents that don't respect their kids choices and just realize when their child is happy. I am the happiest that I have ever been and I am sure as hell not going to let somebody who thinks that just because they are more experienced in life, ruin my happiness, which is why I am glad that Bryan and I have decided to have only certain people at the wedding. I am so lucky that I have such an awesome family I don't know what we would do without them.

I just wanted everyone out there to hear this just so that we can clear the air. Also, to all you random people posting things on my blog.....get to know me before you diss me.


SORRY FOR BEING HAPPY AND SORRY FOR EVER TRYING TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, YOU CAN BE SURE I AM NOT GOING TO ATTEMPT TO BE FUNNY EVER AGAIN ON MY BLOG.

Me and My Honey

Alright I have some pictures for all of you interested folks out there!! Isn't he cute? He is my hero and I love him SO much!! Little baby boy is going to have an awesome daddy!

I am Getting Married

OK so I really hate telling people this because of the judgments I am bound to recieve, but this is my blog and I really am excited!!

I will start from the beginning. I have a friend, Bryan, who has been my BEST friend for about a year and a half or so, I have been REALLY good friends with his mom as well. I have had a secret crush on him for about a year and a half but I obviously was with my ex and could not do anything about that. I remember the time when I first started liking him, was when it was just he and I at my apartment and he was cleaning!! I just thought that was amazing because my BF at the time would not even do that!! Anyway, I was miserable with my ex, and I was only laughing and smiling with I was with Bryan. Bryan told his mom that he was waiting for my ex to screw up and to be the one to make me smile, he could not stand seeing me so miserable day after day, it KILLED him. So, we have been dating, I tried SO hard not to fall in love with him, because I was so scared of getting hurt, but it happened anyway. This is the first man that I have been with that does not send up any red flags, he makes me happier than I have been in years! He says that he wishes so badly that my son was his and not my ex's. He wants to adopt the baby so that he won't ever have to be without a dad, and if something were to happen to me than Bryan would get the baby, not my ex.

Anyway long story short, we want the baby to have his last name from the get go so that there isn't a name change issue, and we know that we want to get married, and waiting won't change our feelings, so we set a date (well not exact) MIDDLE OF OCTOBER!!! I know it is soon, but I really feel that this is right, I know that this is right, and I am happy! I worry that people think I am doing this just because I need a baby daddy, or whatever, but I really feel this is right for my son and ...... I AM GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!

Hot Mommy!!! Me at 32 Weeks

This is really freakin sweet!

OK so I did it! I just had to! I got a 3d/ 4d ultrasound, and it was amazing! I will let all of the pictures do the talking!

Tagged

I was tagged by http://roguemidwife.blogspot.com/

So now I am supposed to give all of you eight things you MAY not know about me! Here are the rules for being tagged:RULES - Post rules before giving the facts - Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves - People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules - At the end of the your blog you need to tag six people and list their names - Leave them a comment on their blog, telling them they have been tagged and not to forget to read your blog.


1) I am really good at finding out information for people when they can't.

2) I fell out of love with my ex and did not want to be with him about a year before he left me, and everyday I wonder why I was so stupid as to stay with him. (mind you I don't regret anything and love my son more then anything and would not change that for the world)

3) I am not a sensitive person, when someone cries or is hurt I honestly don't know what to do. I am more sensitive with children, obviously.

4) I have all of one friend and people always think that I am just saying that to gain sympathy but it is very true and I don't want sympathy

5) It makes me sad that everyone says that I need to make this time in my life before the baby comes about me, but yet I have nothing that I enjoy doing and nobody to share it with.

6) I am not scared about the birth, or taking care of the baby in the least bit.

7) I think that I have a secret crush on my best friend, but am not quite sure

8) I love to act, and write stories/books

Baby boy

OK well even though I have known this for a long while I just thought I would confirm every one's suspicions.......there is a penis!! It is a boy, he has both of his testicles and everything! I am glad that my mom didn't wind up right and it be a girl, because I honestly don't want a girl, at all!


So now it is name time, I thought about the name Zayden but I have definitely changed my mind, so it is back to square one.....

No More Barking Please!!!!

OK so my puppy has gotten really bad with her barking problem and I had enough of it today. She has gotten to the point that when she barks I cannot catch her, yell at her or anything to get her to stop. So this morning was the last straw, I woke up to her barking (of course) at nothing, and I got dressed and rushed to Petsmart to get a no bark collar. I know that some of you might think that to be mean or whatever, but when you are in my situation you would do the same. It's not that she is barking to guard, it's that she is barking because she is anxious and when she barks she barks at nothing, and for a long time. She will not let me get near her, she will not listen or anything! So when I got home I put the collar on and to make sure that it worked, my mom rang the doorbell, she barked, but only once, and freaked out trying to bite at her neck. Then I needed her to bark again just to make sure that this collar wasn't going to malfunction or something and she would NOT bark (until Diesel barked that is!) This time she yelped and ran away. I felt so bad but at least it was working. Here is the thing though, the whole day she would not come when she was called, she hid under the table with her tail between her legs. She would not come to any of us and just was miserable, but when the cable guy came, she did not bark, when she is outside she doesn't bark, so I guess I have to train her to not be scared, which is easier then teaching her not to bark......

Tumble

Well I now understand why people say that you lose your sense of balance in your third trimester. Yesterday, while my mom was at the Chiropractor and I was watching the girls, I fell down the stairs! Yes, that's right folks, down the stairs! My sisters of course witnessed it all and Allison was freaking out, and Lydia kept on saying, "I will kiss it". I could not move at all and my mom was not answering the phone, and Lydia had to go potty...... great, just great. Finally my mom answered the phone and came to the rescue. Luckily I fell on my back/butt, so nothing was wrong baby wise, I was just essentially immobile. I am fine, don't worry, I just have probably the biggest blackest bruise ever on my left butt!! Attractive, I know.

Goodness!

For the last two days there has not been a moment of silence in my belly, everyone at my work has witnessed his kicks! It's almost like he is rocking because two opposite sides of my belly will move at one time. I am just waiting for the hiccups! I love every moment though and I am treasuring every little kick, and movement, I don't want to look back on this pregnancy and wish that I did something differently, and so far I am doing good!

Aww so vain!

Here are a bunch of pictures of me and my big belly!

Update time

Okay, I am sure you all have been wondering what has been going on with baby daddy. Well I can tell you, not much. The last time I spoke to him he wanted to know what the sex of the baby was so stupid me told him, and that was it. He promised to call me back the next day,but the next time I heard from anybody in Colorado was when one of his hootchy mamas called me threatening my life saying that I'm fat, telling me that there's a problem and I need to come to Colorado to solve it and when I asked her what the problem was she could not tell me because she was too dumb to know, is it that he ran away from his son? Is it that he deserted me with no money and no job and rent to pay? If that's the problem then maybe he should be coming out here to solve it! So I e-mailed baby daddy and told him he is not going to ever see his son because having people called me and threaten my life is not okay, he replied with I will see you in court, you can not take me away from my son, blah blah blah. I e-mailed him back and said that this would not be like this if he would get off of his high horse and talk to me because, while I am able to brush off his lies, the first time he lies to my son will be the last, and my son will not be able to understand it like I do. I know that I do not deserve what he is putting me through, but my son does not deserve it, my son does not deserve to come into a life where his father lies and betrays. I understand that he has a right to his son but he is not going to get that unless he can mature and realize that he has a son who doesn't understand and just wants to be loved. But as far as Josh goes I can honestly give two cares less what he does with his life, who he dates, where he lives, but I do care what he does to my son, and if it wasn't for my son I would have nothing to do with Josh. I just want to make it clear that I do not dwell on the situation I do not sit at home wondering when he is going to call, I do not cry over him, I do not wish that he would come back, but I do wish that he was a good dad, but if he's not going to be then so be it, because I can be a great mom (and dad too) my son is the only thing that matters to me and he will continue to be the only thing that matters to me. All right enough of that drama there's your update!

Too full mama.....

So last night I experienced for the first time being kicked in the bladder! That was the only place that he was kicking and he kept doing it, over and over and over again. So I finally thought that maybe he was telling me something so I went and I emptied it, and when I did he went to sleep and did not bother me for the rest of the night. I think that it was his way of telling me that my bladder was too full and if I did not do anything about then he was going to keep kicking it!!

"umm excuse me but this thing is in my way do you mind fixing this please" says my son

The Wrath of Hell

I get heartburn when I breathe, burp, eat sour stuff, eat spicy stuff, drink water, wake up, take a shower, talk and when I do it feels like the pit of hell is in my esophagus! I am getting tired of it but I know that it will only get worse!

A Moment Please....

Please let's take a moment of silence for little Jackson William Whiteside, born on June 28th, 2007, and he passed away on July 5th, 2007. I cannot imagine the pain and sadness that his family is going through.

Dance Party?

So my son has decided that today is a good day to have a dance party apparently! I woke up at seven this morning (not on my own free will mind you) and he was kicking me like crazy! My stomach looked crazy, and all day today he has been kicking me! He stops temporarily after I eat, I guess to take a nap or something!

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE!!!!!

Belly!

I know everyone has wanted to see pictures of my belly so here you go!

Tagged?

Well I have apparently been tagged by my mother and i have no idea what that means she says to just write 7 things about me so here it goes, I guess.....

1) When I was little all i wanted was to be an actress, or a singer and just knew that if I was in a commercial I would for sure make it big....that clearly did not go as planned.

2) I have been in love, made a child and been thrown away all before I am able to drink.

3) Although I am pregnant and I know that i am judged for it I still wish that my belly was huge like everyone says theirs were

4) I am scared to death to raise a child, I am scared that I won't be a good mom and that I won't have a good life with my baby.

5) Although I have opted to have my son at home I am so terrified of the pain!

6) I can't tell if my hair is it's full natural color or not

7) I am searching for a daddy for my baby and it's not going to well...LOL

Traditionally I am supposed to tag somebody else but I don't know anybody to tag so consider yourself tagged if you are reading this!

Future........

I have been thinking lately about my baby and the life he is going to have. I know that it is not going to be a rich one and it's going to be hard to give him what he wants and deserves but that's not what I have been thinking about. I'm thinking about how he is going to love me. I know that when he is little I am going to be his god and he won't want to leave my side, so I am not concerned about the love he will have for me when he is little, instead how is he going to love me when he is 16? Is he going to love me with the same amount of gusto as he did when he was 2? I look at my friends and my son's dad and I don't think that they are awful and that must be how all boys are but how were they raised? What mistakes did their parents make that turned them into such disrespecting heartless souls and how can I be different then that? I know that by being a single mom and can teach him to respect woman and not treat them like slaves so I don't have to be worried about that, but how can I get him to want to love me and hug me when he's 16? How can I get get him to not be embarrassed by me or talk badly about me behind my back? Should I let him do what he wants so that he thinks I am "cool"? NO WAY, but if he wants to do something that i don't agree with and I tell him no, he won't understand why it's not ok and he will just think I am being mean! I look at how I was as a teenager and it scares the daylights out of me! I wanted everything but to be at home with my family, I always chose my friends over my parents and I look back now and I hate it! Because of the fact that I was so distant from my family I don't even remember 2 of the 3 babyhood's of my sisters. I can barely tell which is which in their baby pics! I don't want my son to be like that but I don't know what I can do to stop that from happening. My mom raised me the best way I think a mother could, so is it the parents or the kids? How is it that my mom raised me to be independent, save money, be true to myself and so on, but yet I moved in with a guy after only knowing him for 2 weeks when I was 17 and didn't go to school, save money or even work for that matter. Now I am 19, 5 months pregnant with a little boy and I have been deserted, left to fin for myself in raising my baby, I live with my mommy and daddy, and I am now realizing my mistakes! It's sad that I am realizing now that i have screwed up in the past and that I have completely screwed up my future as far as money goes and I am expecting to bring a child into my messed up world?! that just does not seem right. My baby doesn't deserve it but he got it and the only thing that I can do is put him on the right track. I just wish there was some way to guarantee that he won't end up like me.

Missed Me?

Well I know that I have not posted anything in a while and surprisingly not much has happened! On Thurs. I was sitting on the couch with my shirt up and I looked down and could see the baby visually kicking me! I started freaking out! Why is this happening so early? Do i have twins, or a giant baby, or am I further along then suspected? No I just have an insanly strong baby! Also I woke up the other morning only to find that my boobies are leaking (yeah I know that is alot of info but you know what if you don't like it then don't read!) and again my mind starts racing, WHY is this happening so early? Is my body preparing to give birth early? No I just have good milk producing boobies! Oh well! Other than that nothing much has been happening. I quit the job at Babies R Us because my other job changed my schedule and I couldn't give BRB enough of my time....oh well it was just another stupid teenage job anyway, granted I don't get the discount but that is not a reason to stay with a job. I LOVE my job at the retirement home, LOVE IT! Granted at times it can be boring but that is OK, I am not on my feet all the time, I get to talk and make friends with the residents, and it is just alot of fun! So that is it for now, thanks for stopping by!

I am sorry

Well I know that it has been forever since I last posted, with the promises of baby pictures! I am sorry! I have been working two jobs now, Babies R Us finally got my background check in, so I am working there part-time, and I found a job as a concierge at an assisted living facility so I have been busy with all of that! I love my job as the concierge because it is so mellow and laid back, I essentially get to sit on my butt, eat snacks, have fun with the residents, and answer the phone when it rings, which is not very much at all, perfect for someone who is pregnant! I love my job at Babies R Us because of the discount! So you can probably see which job I value more, and in case you can't it's the concierge job! They are so nice, I make more and it is the first real job I have had. It is not another stupid teenage job at all, I am one of the most important people here because I am the first person that a guests sees when they walk in the door and I am the first person they hear when they call! Pretty cool huh? I still need to find an even better paying job, but this is a good start towards that goal! Ok well I happen to be at work right now so I better run! I will post the ultrasound pics very soon I promise!

YAY Gender news!

Well I had an ultrasound a few days ago to find out the sex of my baby and.......drum role please.....survey says........and your case holds........is that your final answer........IT'S A BOY!!! Surprise! I will post the ultrasound pictures at a later date!

AWW How cute!

Here are a few pictures that I LOVE!

Ok Well That's Good

So I called Babies 'R' Us for the last time and they said that they finally ordered a new background check for me! Well gee thank you it's only been 3 and a half weeks! I am glad though because I was not excited about working anywhere else. I had that interview with blockbusters and it was just awful! First of all, I do not know a thing about movies in the least, second of all when you start working they only put you on one or two shifts a week and if you don't sell their new memberships then you don't get more shifts! So how am I to know if I will only be working once or twice a week or all week? I wouldn't even be able to pick up a second job because I would not know my schedule! So I really hope that Babies 'R' Us gets my background check in tomorrow so then I can do orientation this week and start working! I also am really hoping everything checks out OK because in the last day my stomach has completely exploded and now there is absolutely NO way that I can hide my pregnancy! The pants I wore three weeks ago to my interview did not fit me two days ago! So I hope that Babies 'R' US is excepting of my pregnancy ( I know that they cannot fire me) and they don't treat badly to try and make me quit or something stupid like that!
In other news, last night I was watching a movie with my parents and I was playing a game with my baby! The baby kicks so hard that I swear I would be able to feel it from the outside. The only problem? The baby stops moving when I put my hand on my belly! So last night the baby was kicking like crazy and so I put my hand on my belly and he (she) stopped moving! So when I took my hand off the baby went nuts again! It was so funny! I really just wish the baby would let me put my hand on my belly when he (she) is kicking!
Well That's all for now folks!

It'll Do

Well Babies 'R' Us still has yet to call me so I had no other choice but to search around for something new. After I interviewed with Babies 'R' Us Blockbusters called me in for an interview and I turned them down, so I called them and I now have an interview tomorrow at 12:30! I am not very excited though because I have heard that blockbusters does not pay much and Babies 'R' Us offered me 8.50 an hour and I just don't think that Blockbusters will pay me that much. Oh well I guess, I need a job really badly so I will suck it up for anything (unless I have to lift heavy things or do anything to endanger my baby.) I am scared that if I get hired and I tell them that I am pregnant at orientation, or training or something that they will treat me different. I know that they are not supposed to but the job industry is a shark tank. I do not want to feel unwelcome at my job, but I will deal with it anyway! Let's just hope that if I get the job they get my background check in a decent amount of time! OK enough griping I guess!

Me and my dog

So I have a puppy. Yeah, I know exciting. Anyway, this puppy of mine was baby daddy's birthday present but just wound up being another loved one he left behind. I am not complaining because I love her to death! I have no idea what breed she is, she is a little bit bigger then a medium size dog but not a large dog. She eats, and poops like a large dog but I have yet to figure out where she fits all of the food she eats! Her name is Rubie and she will be a year old in august. She is yet another one of my problems that my parents had to take on and she has not proved to be worthy. My dad has yet to touch her and just yells at her (I do not blame him, she chewed up his shoe and pees in the hall) but my mom, my sisters, and Deisel (my mom's dog) love her! Who knows, maybe the man of the house will warm up to her sometime in the future!

Good Morning

Another day, another dollar! I wish! You see, I have a job at babies 'r' us (I know perfect for me, and yes I do get discounts) but the only thing is that they for some reason have yet to get my background check in. So either I am a convicted felon and I do not know about it or they lost it! I call them about every two or three days and each time she says, I still have not gotten anything back on it yet! Well when I called yesterday she said that she was going to e-mail the regional mgr and get back to me. Unfortunately she left for the day without getting back to me, of course, right? So I am at a loss. I am not really that interested in searching for another job because I feel that babies 'r' us will be more accepting of me being pregnant (yes I know, all jobs have to be accepting) I just feel like I would fit in more there then say, at Blockbusters (which is where I am going next) but oh well I guess we will wait and see how it pans out, right?

My baby

Well so far throughout all of my doctors visits the heartbeat has been at 140-145 and that is the tell-tale beat of a girl, so who knows? People always ask me, do you want a girl or a boy? I honestly do not care at this point, I really, truly just want a healthy baby! I am having the baby at home in my mom's bathtub, and of course people think that I am crazy for wanting to do this but it is my body, my baby, and I will bring it into the world how I choose! Right? Doesn't that sound reasonable? I am well aware of all of the risks and the complications but I am prepared and willing to except whatever comes my way, as long as my baby is healthy then nothing else matters. As far as finding out the sex of my baby.......OF COURSE!! I need to know what to buy! There is this cute bouncy chair that looks SO comfy but it is pink so I have to wait and see if I can buy it or not! Princesses or Superman? I need to know! So I am going to make an appt. three weeks from today to find out! That about concludes this exciting blog entry I just thought that I should talk about the baby a few times given the name of my blog!

Excuse Me Please.

So here is what I think, I think that a woman who is pregnant should not have to say excuse me after an expolsion of gas. I think that we should be able to wake up in the morning and say.....EXCUSE ME and that covers the day, but there are rules to this:

1) You must be pregnant
2) If you are not really gassing then you have to say excuse me after your burps (or toots)

Now, for me I am always burping, and they are not measly little burps of air, no, they are big frog- like burps, and I do not just burp once, I burp alot! When I come down the stairs, that produces burps, when I wake up in the morning that produces burps, when I watch t.v, when I walk, when I go to the bathroom. I am just a walking burping machine, and it just does not seem right that I have to say excuse EVERY time, especially when they are one after another, after another and so on! Luckily I am only really burpy and not the other kind of gas (that often) LOL. Maybe this was TMI but I just felt it was an important matter of subject, so thank you for listening.
What do you think?

Finally

Well finally the baby daddy gets some sense about him. He called me last night absolutely balling his eyes out and saying how he misses me and that he is SO sorry for all of the pain that he has caused me. I do feel sad that he jumped to the decision to leave me so soon because originally he was only supposed to be gone for two or three weeks, and now at the three week mark he is realizing he made a huge mistake. I think that he should move out here and get his life back, he can start school, get a job, and his own place. Where he is at now he cannot move anywhere but backwards and I feel sad for his future. Now granted I am stuck out here picking up the pieces I still love him and care for him, I will not take him back and just pretend that all of this did not happen but I will support him because I want him to do well with his life, not just for himself but for his baby. I think that it would be much easier for him to be involved in his babies life if he was in the same state. He has a lot of redeeming to do to me before I can fully trust him but him pouring his heart out to me is a good start. All of the hurt that I have had and the tears that I have cried does not make two years with my one love just disappear, he will always have my heart and unfortunately some people will never understand that.

adventures in a wanna be good baby daddy

Well I talked to "baby daddy" and he says that he wants to be involved as much as possible, yeah we'll see, my confidence in him is not to great and since then he has not called me back, so that tells me alot.
Other than that things are fine. All of a sudden my nausea came back full throttle, but I tackled that to the ground. I get to find out the gender three wks from mon!!!!!!!!! I cannot wait!
I am still waiting on my new job at Babies 'R' Us to get my background check back and then I can start working! It seems to be taking forever though and I am kind of worried!


My pregnancy tip of the day: GINGER CANDY! I found my ginger in the health food isle. Make sure that one of the first ingredients is Ginger, the ingredients in the ones I got are ginger and cane sugar. I eat one of the candies 5 min. before I eat and I can eat anything after that!

This is me

Well here I am, me, myself, and I. Well let me start my giving you a little background of myself. I am 19 and four and a half months pregnant. I was with my ex for two years when he decided it would be better for him to move back to his home state..........away from me...........and the baby. So now I am alone and trying to get my life back. Thankfully my mom are dad are angels in diguise and they took me in and are letting me live here until I can get on my feet, for me and my babies sake. So now I am just trying to get my life together and prepare to have a baby enter my world. So that pretty much sums it up. I know it doesn't sound like much but anything that happened before my baby just doesn't really seem to be relevant to now.

I do have three amazing sisters who are 8, 5, and almost 3. I love them more then anything in the world (besides my own baby) and I love watching them grow up and talk to me about the baby. My three year old sister says that she is pregnant and she is having her baby in two days. My other sisters talk about how they cannot wait until the baby comes and they can play with it.

So that's it I am just starting this blog to talk about me and my baby so it's not that exciting but hey I am trying.