So last night I experienced for the first time being kicked in the bladder! That was the only place that he was kicking and he kept doing it, over and over and over again. So I finally thought that maybe he was telling me something so I went and I emptied it, and when I did he went to sleep and did not bother me for the rest of the night. I think that it was his way of telling me that my bladder was too full and if I did not do anything about then he was going to keep kicking it!!
"umm excuse me but this thing is in my way do you mind fixing this please" says my son
I get heartburn when I breathe, burp, eat sour stuff, eat spicy stuff, drink water, wake up, take a shower, talk and when I do it feels like the pit of hell is in my esophagus! I am getting tired of it but I know that it will only get worse!
Please let's take a moment of silence for little Jackson William Whiteside, born on June 28th, 2007, and he passed away on July 5th, 2007. I cannot imagine the pain and sadness that his family is going through.
So my son has decided that today is a good day to have a dance party apparently! I woke up at seven this morning (not on my own free will mind you) and he was kicking me like crazy! My stomach looked crazy, and all day today he has been kicking me! He stops temporarily after I eat, I guess to take a nap or something!
YOU CANNOT ESCAPE!!!!!
I know everyone has wanted to see pictures of my belly so here you go!
Well I have apparently been tagged by my mother and i have no idea what that means she says to just write 7 things about me so here it goes, I guess.....
1) When I was little all i wanted was to be an actress, or a singer and just knew that if I was in a commercial I would for sure make it big....that clearly did not go as planned.
2) I have been in love, made a child and been thrown away all before I am able to drink.
3) Although I am pregnant and I know that i am judged for it I still wish that my belly was huge like everyone says theirs were
4) I am scared to death to raise a child, I am scared that I won't be a good mom and that I won't have a good life with my baby.
5) Although I have opted to have my son at home I am so terrified of the pain!
6) I can't tell if my hair is it's full natural color or not
7) I am searching for a daddy for my baby and it's not going to well...LOL
Traditionally I am supposed to tag somebody else but I don't know anybody to tag so consider yourself tagged if you are reading this!
I have been thinking lately about my baby and the life he is going to have. I know that it is not going to be a rich one and it's going to be hard to give him what he wants and deserves but that's not what I have been thinking about. I'm thinking about how he is going to love me. I know that when he is little I am going to be his god and he won't want to leave my side, so I am not concerned about the love he will have for me when he is little, instead how is he going to love me when he is 16? Is he going to love me with the same amount of gusto as he did when he was 2? I look at my friends and my son's dad and I don't think that they are awful and that must be how all boys are but how were they raised? What mistakes did their parents make that turned them into such disrespecting heartless souls and how can I be different then that? I know that by being a single mom and can teach him to respect woman and not treat them like slaves so I don't have to be worried about that, but how can I get him to want to love me and hug me when he's 16? How can I get get him to not be embarrassed by me or talk badly about me behind my back? Should I let him do what he wants so that he thinks I am "cool"? NO WAY, but if he wants to do something that i don't agree with and I tell him no, he won't understand why it's not ok and he will just think I am being mean! I look at how I was as a teenager and it scares the daylights out of me! I wanted everything but to be at home with my family, I always chose my friends over my parents and I look back now and I hate it! Because of the fact that I was so distant from my family I don't even remember 2 of the 3 babyhood's of my sisters. I can barely tell which is which in their baby pics! I don't want my son to be like that but I don't know what I can do to stop that from happening. My mom raised me the best way I think a mother could, so is it the parents or the kids? How is it that my mom raised me to be independent, save money, be true to myself and so on, but yet I moved in with a guy after only knowing him for 2 weeks when I was 17 and didn't go to school, save money or even work for that matter. Now I am 19, 5 months pregnant with a little boy and I have been deserted, left to fin for myself in raising my baby, I live with my mommy and daddy, and I am now realizing my mistakes! It's sad that I am realizing now that i have screwed up in the past and that I have completely screwed up my future as far as money goes and I am expecting to bring a child into my messed up world?! that just does not seem right. My baby doesn't deserve it but he got it and the only thing that I can do is put him on the right track. I just wish there was some way to guarantee that he won't end up like me.